..."If we lose our hope, that is the real disaster"

I was having a conversation with one of my fellow non-small town transplant coworkers the other day.  We're both from the city and both moved to this small town for work.  And we're both lonely AF.  We both have to do things on our own because neither of us have proper friends up here, lots of friendly acquaintances yes, but nothing more than that.  We can't exactly do anything together because of the demands of our schedule don't allow us days off together.  It's funny...I'm closer to people who live 15,000 miles away than I am with people I see on a daily basis...the irony, right?

While in the midst of our conversation, another coworker basically told us it's good for us to learn how to be independent.

Uh....what did you just say to me?

I know this guy quite well and know he said this in jest, but I still felt compelled to point out to him that I've moved country five times, SOLO, twice to non-English speaking countries.  I was involved in a life-altering accident in one of those non-English speaking country's and had major surgery in the other.  All alone.  I had a few friends who would pop around every now-and-then to help, but mostly during that traumatic shit, I was on my own.  Don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining because it made me who I am today, but don't tell me I need to learn to be independent.  I'm independent AF.  So forgive me, if, after 13 years of traveling solo, I'd like to have someone to share shit with.

Life seems to have this funny way of flipping itself.  I used to have some semblance of an introvert's social life, and that part of my life is pretty much non-existent now.  While the part that used to suck (work), is now amazing and frankly the only thing keeping me around.  (Seriously though, the only thing I've ever felt as much passion for as I do about my current job is travelling and experiencing new cultures).  But then there's that other part of my life that has NEVER gone accordingly: relationships - it's never actually existed...me trying to land a boyfriend is like trying to capture Bigfoot, or a Yeti, or the Loch Ness Monster, or a chupacabbra (which is basically a dog with mange).  I do believe they exist, but capturing them...well let's just say that would be easier than me meeting a dude.  All I'm asking for a is Norse God Viking of a man, not much, right? All I'm saying here is, it would be nice if everything went well, if just once...everything in life worked in perfect harmony.  But apparently that shit only happens in movies.

I don't know...maybe I just need a vacation to cure this funk I've been in (of course that's what I need...vacations cure all sorts of things, even if you pick up malaria along the way, funks are still cured with vacations).  Or I just need a good friend to hang out with.

So if you're lonely, too...give ya girl a holla, I'll be out adventuring and shit because I'm still not waiting around for you :)

"No matter what sort of difficulties, how painful experience is, if we lose our hope, that is the real disaster" - Dalai Lama

The epitome of loneliness, crutching your way around Angkor Wat through a sea of tourists

Happy Trails!