Wednesday, April 11, 2018

Woes of Online Dating

This one isn't about traveling.  Actually, it's about the opposite of traveling: Settling.  One of the main reasons for moving back to the States in 2014, I finally felt ready to settle.  Settle in a sense that I'm not living out of a suitcase, finding a job that I like, finding a dude that not necessarily wants to get married, but wants to hang out with me more than other boring chicks out there.

As far as my checklist goes:

1. Career - CHECK 

Lawd, I love my job.  I'm way over qualified for my job, but I'm incredibly passionate about it and feel like I'm actually apart of something bigger than me.  I definitely don't dispatch for the money.  I do it to save lives, thanklessly.  I do it for the challenge.  First and foremost, my job grounded me.

2. Home - CHECK 

As of last week, I am officially a home owner!  For the first time in my life!  No more living out of a suitcase in small closet-sized places.  During my travels, I've lived in so many different spaces.  From a half-closet in a caravan in Scotland, (where my ass was wider than the bed and I had to sleep with my knees bent because the length of the closet was about a foot shorter than me) to a palm tree and mountain vista view in Chiang Mai, and even a tent on the beach of Koh Ngai in the Andaman Sea.  I now have a house.  #Adulting.

Not the best photo...but that was a pretty amazing view from my apartment in Chiang Mai


3. Dude - ______ (fill in the blank with anything other than "check")

You guys.  When the hell did dating become so...AWFUL?!  Social media has completely ruined the art of dating.  I've never really been in the game, and definitely not since about 2009 when I gave up chasing dudes.  Since then, YIKES.  I basically live in the middle of nowhere.  The only guys I know are cops and robbers (or drug addicts, felons, creepers...), so I'm pretty much left to meeting guys through online dating.

I liken online dating to a really bad food buffet.  You have a plethora of choices to choose from so you add the chicken, beef, pork chops, fish, and crab legs to your plate, along with salad, mac & cheese, potatoes, and some kind of pasta, all of it topped off with bacon bits.  Then later you go back for some cake and soft serve ice cream - with sprinkles obviously.  When you leave the buffet, you're still not satisfied.  Plus, you've acquired a horrendous case of diarrhea.

With online dating, more is less.

It's far too easy to judge someone based on a few select selfies, or "Here's a delicious bass I caught...as you can tell by my obvious masculinity: I'm a provider" pics, or "Here's a pic of me skiing with a bunch of my friends...you can't see what I look like because I'm wearing an Abominable Snowman suit with giant orange goggles - BUT look how social and fun I am!!!"  That along with a generic, "I like all the typical Colorado outdoor BS, music, food and sports.  I'm such-and-such height because apparently that's important" profile and you've got a massive selection of dudes who are EXACTLY the same to choose from.  (I'm sure it's the same for chick's profiles as well, but I only know what mine consists of).



Because of this, it feels like it's now okay for guys to message girls like they're talking to a blowup doll.  Sending the first message that literally says, "Hey, you're cute.  Wanna fuck?".  Tempting, but no.  Look, I know Tinder is commonly known as the 'hookup' site.  Yes, I'm on there for a specific reason, but damn, talk to me like I'm a human first!  If you don't, expect to be trolled.

Hopefully, the final part in my trifecta of Repatriation will pan out.  But until it does, it's nothing if not entertaining.  And, I know I'll be fine...I'm one of those fiercely independent chicks who travel alone!

Happy Trails!

P.S. If you're a single dude reading this, Viking/Norse God-esque (preferred, although not required), funny, love to travel, and can hold a conversation without mentioning your dick in the first 10 minutes (preferably longer (that's what *she* said!)), give ya girl a shout.

My anthem..forever and always.



Thursday, February 8, 2018

This is a blog about Peru

When I booked two weeks in Peru last September, it was definitely last minute.  I'd had a shit month at work and recently diagnosed with depression, and was 100% not feeling myself.  One of the few things that can cure this lass is travel, adventure, culture, a new taste of life.  It's kind of like a shock to my soul.  Feeling down having been dealt my last straw at work, I said "fuck it, I need to get out of here"...my friends kept suggesting tropical locales, like the Caribbean, and as tempting as the beach is, it's not meant for solo travelin' depressed females.  Seeing a bunch of honeymooners?  That would make things worse.  Waaaaaay worse.  I decided it needed to be somewhere adventurous, where I could meet fellow adventure travelers and realized that Peru and Machu Picchu had been on my list for over a decade.  I found some cheap flights and within two weeks I was a jet setter.

Now, I'm not much of a planner of trips, I like to keep things somewhat spontaneous, but I generally have a list of places and people I want to see.  With Peru, the goal was Cuzco and Machu Picchu.  How I got there, that was up in the air.  I also knew I wanted to do a jungle trek in the Amazon - when I was a kid, it was my dream to live in a bamboo hut in the Amazon...befriend singing bears like Mowgli, eat grubbs like Simba.  I'm pretty sure I would die if I tried that now, but with a guide, I'd have a better chance at survival.

Lima > Huacachina

Since you can only fly international into Lima, I booked a room for two nights at an Air BnB, with absolutely no idea of what to do in Lima besides attempt to figure out my next two weeks.  Through my job, I met a National Parks volunteer one afternoon, who recommended I stay in the bohemian, art-esque Barranco District of Lima.  She also highly recommended a visit to an oasis called Huacachina.  Before I left, I booked my two nights in Barranco and booked a few night's hotel stay in Cuzco for the following week.  I had a week to get from point A to point B, somehow, someway.

Plaza de Armas, Lima


With the Huacachina recommendation in my head, upon arrival in Lima, I booked a couple hostel nights stay in that little town...not knowing what it was about.  Now to figure out how to get there.  There were many buses from Lima to the city of Ica, which is about an additional 25 minutes from Huacachina, with only one bus I found that went direct from Lima to Huacachina: PeruHop.

PeruHop ended up being ideal for my situation of having no plans or knowledge of what to do and it was safe.  It's a tourist company that works like the hop-on/hop-off bus tours you see in London, Dublin, or basically every tourist city spot, but on a much larger scale - city to city.  I saw more than I expected, as on our way to Huacachina, we stopped at the Paracas National reserve for the afternoon...a place I never would have seen otherwise.  You're also provided with friendly and knowledgeable tour guides to assist and give solid recommendations.

Views from Paracas National Reserve, a structure called the Cathedral.  I don't know why it's called that.


When we arrived in Huacachina, I was thoroughly disappointed.  It was cheesy AF, with sand-boarding the dunes as the only activity to do.  Realizing with my ankle I couldn't even walk in the sand, I was insanely bored.  The restaurants had disgusting over-priced Americanized food.  I absolutely did NOT want to stay for the the three nights I booked.  Unfortunately, the PeruHop bus leaving the next day was fully booked, so I was stuck.  I had booked my PeruHop to go directly from Huacachina to Cuzco, but decided I didn't want to stay in Huacachina for three boring days with nothing to do, so decided I wanted to visit Arequipa instead.  Since PeruHop was fully booked, I asked them if I booked a different overnight service from Ica to Arequipa, could I hop back on PeruHop from Arequipa to Cuzco a few days later.  They were incredibly accommodating and said that would be fine.

Huacachina. An oasis. I prefer Oasis, the band. 


Huacachina > Arequipa 

Thank GOD I went to Arequipa...such a charming colonial city in the Andes!  Plus, it was at altitude, so all the fit folks were huffing and puffing walking up the stairs had me like "This altitude-living fatty got you beat!!" (I was suffering in Lima...waaaaaay too much oxygen at sea level had me choking).  I spent the day exploring the city and trying new foods. 

Plaza de Armas, Arequipa

View of the Andes from a monastery in Arequipa


The next day, I planned a day tour of the Colca Canyon, which was incredible to see how Peruvians live and cultivate.  The Colca Canyon is lined with agricultural terraces in a beautiful valley with our final stop being at the Peruvian Condor overlook, where you can watch these massive condors gliding through the canyon.

On our way to the Colca Canyon, two little girls play while their mom sells her fare

Condor overlook, Colca Canyon

A little boy plays while his mom sells her fare at the Condor overlook


Arequipa > Cuzco

The next day, I hopped back on PeruHop for the 12 hour ride from Arequipa to Cuzco.  We made a few short stops along the way to eat and sight see, which was a nice time to meet some of my fellow nomads along the same journey.  We arrived in Cuzco after dark and were sorted out taxis to take us to our hostels or hotels (the taxi service included with PeruHop).  I booked a hotel via recommendation of a travel tribe I'm a member of.  The hotel was called El Balcon, and probably one of the nicest hotels I've stayed in.  It was charming.  And beautiful.  Delicious food and extraordinary service.  I was like, girl TREAT YO'SELF...especially after staying in grimy hostels and sleeping on buses.

View of Cuzco from El Balcon


Cuzco is magic.  At night, it looks like it's tucked in by a blanket of twinkling stars.  Damn, I fell in love with that city.  El Balcon has a sister hotel in Ollantaytambo, the city most stop at on their way to Machu Picchu.  I ended up booking a night there (and ended up staying 2 nights) after I had a taste of that El Balcon lux.

View of Cuzco from El Balcon

Cuzco > Machu Picchu, via the Sacred Valley

I ended up booking my way to Machu Picchu on my own, not using PeruHop (I'm not even sure if they go there...if they did, it was a part of a 'stop', and travel has taught me to take time at the places I need to see).  I found an English-speaking tour booking company to help me.  They were incredibly kind, and convinced me to tour the Sacred Valley on my way to Ollantaytambo where I was to catch the train to MP.

Chincero in the Sacred Valley, being shown a demonstration of dying and weaving alpaca wool


Ticket in hand (and barely able to control my excitement), I boarded the tour bus the next morning...only to find out I was put on a Spanish speaking tour o_O  I was the ONLY English speaker on the tour.  The guide would explain things in Spanish, then in broken English tell me what was going on.  It was exhausting for both of us.  I felt awful for him, and frustrated for myself.  My 8th grade spanish is quite basic..."Uno mas cervesa, por favor".  I know the important things.

Sacred Valley: Ruins of Pisac


Through miscommunication, I didn't know we were in Ollantaytambo when we were in Ollantaytambo, and came to that realization at our last stop of Pisac - when we were an hour and a half away from Ollantaytambo.  That's when I broke down.  Now, 95% of the time, I'm calm, collected and cool while traveling alone...not this time.  I was on the brink of motion sickness, frustrated about the Spanish speaking tour and anxious to get back to Ollantaytambo to rest up before Machu Picchu the next morning.  My tour guide helped me get a taxi from town that was headed back that way anyways, and stopped to pick up/drop off other riders along the route.  Finally, I made it to my destination: hotel El Albergue...which conviently enough is at the train station, so I didn't have to go far to catch my MP train the next morning.

The staff at El Albergue were lovely and accommodating.  When I decided to book another night, they were all booked up in their regular guest rooms, they let me stay in one they don't advertise.  The food was phenomenal, as well...all in all, I highly recommend a stay there.

Early morning bedroom balcony views from El Albergue and the train to Machu Picchu 


El Albergue was the beginning of Machu Picchu, which will be saved for a later blog (or you can check out the Photo of the Month MP blog).

Lastly, after heading back to Cuzco, I did a tour of Sacsayhuaman (pronounced "Sexy Woman"), which was a nice day trip learning about the Inca.  When I headed back to Lima, I booked a night at this AMAZING bed and breakfast in the Barranco District called Casa Nuestra...I wish I would have know about that place when I first arrived, but now I know for next time ;)

Views from the beautiful Casa Nuestra...don't miss the terrace!


P.S. There will be a next time...that jungle tour I wanted to go on?  In my spontaneity, I didn't realize vaccinations were needed and didn't feel like getting malaria.

Machu Picchu


Links to my Peruvian recommendations:

Happy Trails!

Tuesday, January 16, 2018

Photo of the Month: Jökulsárlón Glacier Lagoon

I was talking with a friend today...she and I both started dieting about a month ago.  We're both struggling, because, well diets are stupid.  We're also both tired of being fatties, so I suggested that we need to come up with a rewards incentive - after losing specific pre-determined benchmark pounds, we reward ourselves with something that we likely wouldn't get otherwise...like "Treat Yo-self: No More Fatty Edition".  I told my friend that we need to make our rewards list visible, so we see it everyday as a reminder of why we can't eat those pastries that I love sooooooo much.

I'm a visual person and believe that if you see something everyday, you'll get it.  Sometime last year, I decided to cover my work locker with photos the places I've been wanting to visit for years now.  It included Machu Picchu in Peru, the Tiger's Nest temple in Bhutan, the Troll Tongue of Norway, and Uhuru Peak on Kilimanjaro in Tanzania.  With no plans in the near future to visit any of those, I figured they're at least gorgeous photos that help reduce my stress at work, even if it would be years before I visit one, let alone any of those locations. 

Then suddenly, very last mintuely (that's a word in my world), Peru happened.  I got to see Machu Picchu after dreaming of that beautiful citadel for over a decade.  And that's when I became a real believer in the visuals.  I honestly did believe in them before, but nothing ever really amounted from my visual boards (that includes marrying Thor and winning the lotto...apparently you have to play to win.  So inconvenient.).  I had a few magazine cutouts of Machu Picchu dotted here and there around my daily routine, without really believing I'd visit any time soon - I had a lot of other places I wanted to visit, so Peru kept getting shelved.  After a horrible August at work, I decided to book a last minute trip...I wanted somewhere warm, and beachy, but then realized warm and beachy places were full of couples.  Seeing them would be depressing, so I decided somewhere adventurous instead and BOOM!  I found a great deal to Peru and MP happened.  Visual boards work :) 

I was going to make this Photo of the Month a green, lush photo of Machu Picchu because of the vision board conversation today, but since I've skipped a few Photo of the Month's, the last one I posted was literally Machu Picchu.  So instead, since I'm sitting here watching the Secret Life of Walter Mitty, and aching to go back to Iceland...this month's photo is brought to you by way of Iceland.  There's no way that Iceland can disappoint.  That wee country is Ah-maz-ing.

I was tentatively planning to go back to Iceland this year, but since my vacation isn't until November, I'd rather go somewhere warm.  Probably Southeast Asia.  Maybe Bhutan...that little kingdom has been randomly popping up in unexpected places in my life lately, hopefully it's a sign that it's going to happen!

But until then, here's Jökulsárlón, the beautiful glacier lagoon in the south of Iceland.

Jökulsárlón...pretty dope.

To see the world
Things dangerous to come to
To see behind walls
Draw closer
To find each other 
And to feel
That is the purpose of LIFE

Happy Trails!

And because this song always reminds me of Walter Mitty and Iceland...