Thursday, March 14, 2013

Here you go, way too fast. Don't slow down, you're gonna crash

There are a lot of things that I love about Thailand, and equally, there are a lot of things I hate about Thailand.  Take, for instance, the fact that about 95% of beauty products have some sort of whitening base in them - Thai's like their skin to be white, they cower from the sun like vampires and instead of the "self-tanning creams" we have in North America and Europe, they have whitening cream.  But not only do they have whitening cream, there are whiteners in lotions, deodorants, make-up...basically, if you put it on your skin, chances are it will make you white.  (I think Michael Jackson had a little too much influence on the Thai's...)  If you don't want fake tan in the US or Europe, then don't buy fake tan.  If you don't want fake-white in Thailand, then you're going to be searching long and hard for products that don't have a whitening base in them.  It's annoying.

But what have I come to hate the most about Thailand?  Fucking Thai drivers.  I *would* say that Thai drivers are completely adverse to road rules, but there are no road rules to speak of.  Well, none that I can tell anyways:

Red lights are just a suggestion. 

Indicators/blinkers are just a suggestion.

Driving on the correct side of the road is just a suggestion (seriously...I can't count how many people in a day I see driving the wrong direction on the wrong side of the road - ON THE HIGHWAY!!!)

Road lines indicating staying in your own lane...just a suggestion!

Carrying a little baby on your motorbike?  It doesn't need a helmet.  None of your children do.

How many more people do you think you can get on your motorbike, because really, 4 isn't enough.  And again, don't bother wearing helmets, they mess up your hair!

Can't find a parking space?  That's ok, just park on the highway!  It's not like people are driving at fast speeds there or anything. 

Need to get over?  Oh, don't worry that I'm right next to you...c'mon over, son!

Turning onto a main road?  No, there's absolutely NO need to stop first and look to make sure no one is coming before you turn onto that busy street.  Really...no need.  Just turn.

On the highways, generally the motorbikes stay to the left (we drive on left side in Thailand) and usually stay on the shoulder of the road.  With that in mind, there may be a truck that needs to turn left...with motorbikes driving along the shoulder.  So instead of slowing down to first let the motorbikes pass, how about you SPEED UP and cut them off so they have to slam on their brakes so you can make that turn?  It makes sense.

Believe me when I say, sometimes it's SAFER to run a red light if it's just turned red because chances are, the other motorbikes or cars or trucks or tuk tuks behind you were planning on running it....so if you stop, they're going to slam into you.

Ugh!!!  Fucking Thai drivers!!  No respect for the road or the people on it.  I'm not a religious person, but I pray every time I get on my motorbike to drive to my new job - 15km out of the city via the Super Highway.  Driving here has made me extra vigilant, that's for sure.  And Thai people generally don't honk at others, but you can bet your ass I do!  If you're a fucking idiot behind the wheel, I'm going to cuss you the hell out with my horn and pray to God that there is not a vehicle next to me so I can get over!

I've got less than a month left of driving in Thailand, so here's to staying safe and being vigilant!  Wish me luck!

2 comments:

  1. I read somewhere that they like to be as white as possible because it shows status. If they are tan that means they work outside and are lower class, while paleness means you get to spend time inside. I wonder if that's true!

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  2. Yep! It's true! Thai's are "prejudiced" towards each other, they're always sizing the other up (money, age, job...) and having dark skin is definitely not a good factor.

    I had a friend who runs a dive shop on the islands, so by Thai standards, he's black. His father is a big-time police detective in the south. My friend was pulled over by the police on his motorbike, and being dark-skinned, the officer was extremely rude and demeaning...UNTIL he asked for his ID and saw the name and realized who's kid he pulled over. The officer kept apologizing over and over, said if my friend needed anything to let him know, blah blah, and let him off! Not only was his black skin a factor, but it's also who you know! (It's become one of the many annoying things about this country...)

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