Teaching Imagination: 101

The thing I find about teaching is that if you ever get bored, you can start making shit up for pure entertainment value.  And I don't mean make things up about English or whatever subject you're teaching, I try not to (*coughcough*) condone that sort of corruption (unless it's something funny), I mean I make things up about myself to tell the kids because I get tired of them asking me the same questions over and over again.

I have one student in my lowest level class, so he's probably kindy or 1st grade aged, he has pretty good English skills for his level and very good pronunciation skills for a Korean kid.  He's also extremely curious. He's always asking me questions...but he asks me the same questions over and over again.  He's asked me how old I am about four times now.  So, our last conversation went like this:

Kid: "Teacher, how old are you?" (which he blurts out in the middle of the lesson)

Me: "How old do you think I am?"

Kid: "32." (Which is not far off!)

Me: "Nope, you're wrong...I'm 100."

Kid: "100?!"

Me: "Yep, 100 years old."

Kid: "Whoa!"

Me: "I look pretty good for my age, right?"

Kid: "Yes, teacher!"

Keep in mind, I have told him my real age four times already.  You think he'd move on to a different subject...which, he did...

A little while later, the kid asked me if I am a mother.  I replied, "Yes, I am the Mother of Dragons."  (Shout out to Daenerys...the real Mother of Dragons).  That one is going to take a little more convincing though, he just turned around and walked away.

In three of my other classes, older students - maybe 4th or 5th grade - we were learning about mysteries. One of their stories was about hunting for the Loch Ness Monster.  Having been to Loch Ness in Scotland before, I told my classes, with the most serious face I could muster (usually I crack a smile, but this time I kept my cool), that I had seen the Loch Ness Monster and took a picture of her.  Of course they demanded I show them the picture at once.  So for the next class, I went onto to Google, found myself a not-so-obvious fake photo of Nessie, saved it to my phone to show my classes.  I think for the most part they were convinced...at least they didn't respond like they normally do when I make shit up for them...

My "pet" alien...From Flight of the Navigator

We were also talking about aliens in those classes - there was a story about aliens possibly being responsible for building the Great Pyramids of Egypt.  So...in typical Kaycee Teacher fashion, I told them I have a pet alien.  I now need to hunt down a Google image (I keep forgetting and my classes keep reminding me...) of the wee alien from Flight of the Navigator - you know the one who dances to the Beach Boys - to show them a picture of my pet alien.  I've already told them I can't bring him into class, he was homesick and had to go back to his home planet.




My newest tale of late is that I'm trying to convince all of my classes that Captain America is my boyfriend.  I'm pretty sure my older students know I'm full of shit, but as for my lower level classes, that remains to be seen.  This was my conversation the other day:

Kid (not the same kid from above): "Teacher? Captain America is your boyfriend?"

Me: "Yes.  Isn't he handsome?"

Kid: "Captain America really your boyfriend?"

Me: "Yes."

Kid: "Do you kiss?"

Me: "Of course...he's my boyfriend.  Duh."

Kid: (turns around to the rest of the class) "Teacher KISS Captain America!!!"

Class erupts in giggles (from girls) and eeew's (from boys)...

Me: "Dudes, of course I kiss Captain America...he is my boyfriend.  Now get back to work!"  (I was about to lose my straight face...)

One of my 4th grade student's writing homework...She's convinced that Captain America is my dude.
This is what I call "Winning at teaching".

For the last 11 months (wow, I can't believe I've been at my school for 11 months already), I've played up the "April Ghost" scenario (our academy is called April).  Anytime something odd happens in my room, I blame it on the April Ghost.  The door rattling (because kids in the next room are bumping the wall), it's just April Ghost knocking on the door to say "hi".  (I tell the students to open the door to answer it, but there is no one there...they completely freak out).  My mouse cursor moving on the smart TV (because I don't have a mouse pad under it), it's just April Ghost saying "hi".  The white noise the speakers in my room randomly make, it's just April Ghost saying "hi".  One clever kid said the mouse thing was a computer error (he's too clever for his own good). The majority of the others, though, they're always talking about April Ghost.

Korean kids, for the most part, are pretty clever.  And when I tell them these things, they're quick to know I'm making shit up, so I stay with the stories and play them out as much as possible.  If anything, I'm trying to develop their imaginations...at least, that's what I like to tell myself ;)

Happy Trails!