Sunday, April 14, 2013

Songkran!

Although I know I’m not in Chiang Mai anymore, I wanted to write one last Chiang Mai blog, given that this weekend is the Thai New Year and Songkran celebrations.  I went back and forth trying to decide if I wanted to stay in Chiang Mai for another Songkran and, as much fun as I had last year, I decided against it for quite a few reasons.  (However, I'm a little upset that I decided not to go - for one reason: This whole journey was inspired by Josh Gates - adventurer, host of SyFy’s Destination Truth, and my travel guru who I would love to meet , high five, and thank in person for being awesome.  I spent 14 months living in Chiang Mai and literally ONE day after I leave, ONE, Josh Gates shows up to Chiang Mai for Songkran.  What kind of shit timing is that?!  For fuck’s sake!!…but really, I didn’t want to do another Songkran, just really awful timing there, Josh.)

Anyways, back to Songkran and the Thai New Year!

Songkran is a day where the Thai’s visit the temples and sprinkle the Buddha statues with water to cleanse and purify them.  The water that runs off the statues is then sprinkled on people to bless them.  Nationwide, this lasts one day.  Except in Chiang Mai. 

Cute little guy...before drenching us!

Songkran in Chiang Mai will start anywhere from Wednesday afternoon and run through till Sunday.  And the “sprinkling” I mentioned?  It’s only sprinkling if you consider being blasted by high powered water guns and having buckets of ice water dumped on your head “sprinkling”.  During Songkran, the city turns into an all-out water war zone.  If you dare to leave your house or apartment, be prepared to get drenched, soaked to the bone and not dry out for at least 5 days.  You’re in serious danger of being tossed into the surrounding moat if you venture to close to its “shore”.  If you’re a white foreigner, you’ve got a giant target on your back.  Or head.  Depending on where the Thai’s aim!  It’s some serious fun!  Everyone who ventures outdoors participates.  No one gets angry or mad that they are being targeted.  If you’re outside, you’re fair game!

Defender!!!

Storefronts lining the roads turn into battle fields.  They open their doors, put a giant (clean) trash bin in front and let the water from the hose fill it up (convenient if you need to fill up your gun).  Last year, my friends and I went into battle protecting our favourite bars, standing in front and shooting anyone who walked by.  Trucks drive though the city selling giant blocks of ice for 50 baht that you can add to your trash bin to give your fight an extra kick…and this being summer in Thailand with temperatures soaring over 100 degrees Fahrenheit, that ice water feels amazing!

Protecting the Mad Dog from invasion!

As I mentioned, anyone who leaves their home is fair game.  I even started a battle with a military officer.  He had his back towards me, so I tentively shot him with my water gun, thinking he’ll either “engage” or send me to Thai prison.  He turned around laughing his ass off and blessed me by shooting me back and wishing me a Happy New Year!  Thai’s also run around and paint your face with a mix of talcum powder and water used as a blessing.  They’ll pile into a back of a truck with a barrel of water – when they drive by, they will dump a bucket over your head. 

The battlefield!

Sometimes, however, it can get a little out of hand.  Many foreigners will aim their high-powered water gun at people’s faces…Last year, I encountered a violently drunk ladyboy – who was dancing on a table, flashing her breasticles and mangina when she all the sudden threw a bucket of water so violently at my head I felt like I’d been hit by a wrecking ball.  Seriously, she hit me so hard with that water on the side of my face, it took about a minute for my hearing to come back.  You also need to take care not to ingest any of the moat water…If you drink any of it on accident, prepare to be on the toilet for a day or two.  It is known that there are more deaths during the days of Songkran than there are throughout the entire year in Thailand.  It’s easy to see why.  With motorbikers as targets, there are many accidents, a lot of people drown in the moat – with the chaos that goes on, it’s easy to see how that happens.  My Thai boss once told me that in preparation for Songkran, they put a net at the bottom of the moat to make it easier to find the dead, drowned bodies after the holiday.

All in all, Songkran is a crazy fun festival and it has to be said, the best party I’ve ever been to!  Once was enough for me, though – it’s hard to try and re-create the experiences you’ve had and knowing that my ankle is still in bad condition, I opted out of a second year.

War!
If you ever find yourself in Chiang Mai around the middle of April, the entire city shuts down for a good 4 days as the locals and foreigners alike are busy defending territories in this all-out water fight!

And Josh Gates, if you’re reading this, please note that I will be in South Korea from May 2013 for around about 2 years.  Please, if you visit South Korea, try to make sure it’s not the day AFTER I leave again.  Thanks!

Happy Thai New Year!

**All photos courtesy of my friend Dean, who sadly destroyed his phone for these photos!

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