Woes of Online Dating

This one isn't about traveling.  Actually, it's about the opposite of traveling: Settling.  One of the main reasons for moving back to the States in 2014, I finally felt ready to settle.  Settle in a sense that I'm not living out of a suitcase, finding a job that I like, finding a dude that not necessarily wants to get married, but wants to hang out with me more than other boring chicks out there.

As far as my checklist goes:

1. Career - CHECK 

Lawd, I love my job.  I'm way over qualified for my job, but I'm incredibly passionate about it and feel like I'm actually apart of something bigger than me.  I definitely don't dispatch for the money.  I do it to save lives, thanklessly.  I do it for the challenge.  First and foremost, my job grounded me.

2. Home - CHECK 

As of last week, I am officially a home owner!  For the first time in my life!  No more living out of a suitcase in small closet-sized places.  During my travels, I've lived in so many different spaces.  From a half-closet in a caravan in Scotland, (where my ass was wider than the bed and I had to sleep with my knees bent because the length of the closet was about a foot shorter than me) to a palm tree and mountain vista view in Chiang Mai, and even a tent on the beach of Koh Ngai in the Andaman Sea.  I now have a house.  #Adulting.

Not the best photo...but that was a pretty amazing view from my apartment in Chiang Mai

3. Dude - ______ (fill in the blank with anything other than "check")

You guys.  When the hell did dating become so...AWFUL?!  Social media has completely ruined the art of dating.  I've never really been in the game, and definitely not since about 2009 when I gave up chasing dudes.  Since then, YIKES.  I basically live in the middle of nowhere.  The only guys I know are cops and robbers (or drug addicts, felons, creepers...), so I'm pretty much left to meeting guys through online dating.

I liken online dating to a really bad food buffet.  You have a plethora of choices to choose from so you add the chicken, beef, pork chops, fish, and crab legs to your plate, along with salad, mac & cheese, potatoes, and some kind of pasta, all of it topped off with bacon bits.  Then later you go back for some cake and soft serve ice cream - with sprinkles obviously.  When you leave the buffet, you're still not satisfied.  Plus, you've acquired a horrendous case of diarrhea.

With online dating, more is less.

It's far too easy to judge someone based on a few select selfies, or "Here's a delicious bass I caught...as you can tell by my obvious masculinity: I'm a provider" pics, or "Here's a pic of me skiing with a bunch of my friends...you can't see what I look like because I'm wearing an Abominable Snowman suit with giant orange goggles - BUT look how social and fun I am!!!"  That along with a generic, "I like all the typical Colorado outdoor BS, music, food and sports.  I'm such-and-such height because apparently that's important" profile and you've got a massive selection of dudes who are EXACTLY the same to choose from.  (I'm sure it's the same for chick's profiles as well, but I only know what mine consists of).

Because of this, it feels like it's now okay for guys to message girls like they're talking to a blowup doll.  Sending the first message that literally says, "Hey, you're cute.  Wanna fuck?".  Tempting, but no.  Look, I know Tinder is commonly known as the 'hookup' site.  Yes, I'm on there for a specific reason, but damn, talk to me like I'm a human first!  If you don't, expect to be trolled.

Hopefully, the final part in my trifecta of Repatriation will pan out.  But until it does, it's nothing if not entertaining.  And, I know I'll be fine...I'm one of those fiercely independent chicks who travel alone!

Happy Trails!

P.S. If you're a single dude reading this, Viking/Norse God-esque (preferred, although not required), funny, love to travel, and can hold a conversation without mentioning your dick in the first 10 minutes (preferably longer (that's what *she* said!)), give ya girl a shout.

My anthem..forever and always.

This is a blog about Peru

When I booked two weeks in Peru last September, it was definitely last minute.  I'd had a shit month at work and recently diagnosed with depression, and was 100% not feeling myself.  One of the few things that can cure this lass is travel, adventure, culture, a new taste of life.  It's kind of like a shock to my soul.  Feeling down having been dealt my last straw at work, I said "fuck it, I need to get out of here"...my friends kept suggesting tropical locales, like the Caribbean, and as tempting as the beach is, it's not meant for solo travelin' depressed females.  Seeing a bunch of honeymooners?  That would make things worse.  Waaaaaay worse.  I decided it needed to be somewhere adventurous, where I could meet fellow adventure travelers and realized that Peru and Machu Picchu had been on my list for over a decade.  I found some cheap flights and within two weeks I was a jet setter.

Now, I'm not much of a planner of trips, I like to keep things somewhat spontaneous, but I generally have a list of places and people I want to see.  With Peru, the goal was Cuzco and Machu Picchu.  How I got there, that was up in the air.  I also knew I wanted to do a jungle trek in the Amazon - when I was a kid, it was my dream to live in a bamboo hut in the Amazon...befriend singing bears like Mowgli, eat grubbs like Simba.  I'm pretty sure I would die if I tried that now, but with a guide, I'd have a better chance at survival.

Lima > Huacachina

Since you can only fly international into Lima, I booked a room for two nights at an Air BnB, with absolutely no idea of what to do in Lima besides attempt to figure out my next two weeks.  Through my job, I met a National Parks volunteer one afternoon, who recommended I stay in the bohemian, art-esque Barranco District of Lima.  She also highly recommended a visit to an oasis called Huacachina.  Before I left, I booked my two nights in Barranco and booked a few night's hotel stay in Cuzco for the following week.  I had a week to get from point A to point B, somehow, someway.

Plaza de Armas, Lima

With the Huacachina recommendation in my head, upon arrival in Lima, I booked a couple hostel nights stay in that little town...not knowing what it was about.  Now to figure out how to get there.  There were many buses from Lima to the city of Ica, which is about an additional 25 minutes from Huacachina, with only one bus I found that went direct from Lima to Huacachina: PeruHop.

PeruHop ended up being ideal for my situation of having no plans or knowledge of what to do and it was safe.  It's a tourist company that works like the hop-on/hop-off bus tours you see in London, Dublin, or basically every tourist city spot, but on a much larger scale - city to city.  I saw more than I expected, as on our way to Huacachina, we stopped at the Paracas National reserve for the afternoon...a place I never would have seen otherwise.  You're also provided with friendly and knowledgeable tour guides to assist and give solid recommendations.

Views from Paracas National Reserve, a structure called the Cathedral.  I don't know why it's called that.

When we arrived in Huacachina, I was thoroughly disappointed.  It was cheesy AF, with sand-boarding the dunes as the only activity to do.  Realizing with my ankle I couldn't even walk in the sand, I was insanely bored.  The restaurants had disgusting over-priced Americanized food.  I absolutely did NOT want to stay for the the three nights I booked.  Unfortunately, the PeruHop bus leaving the next day was fully booked, so I was stuck.  I had booked my PeruHop to go directly from Huacachina to Cuzco, but decided I didn't want to stay in Huacachina for three boring days with nothing to do, so decided I wanted to visit Arequipa instead.  Since PeruHop was fully booked, I asked them if I booked a different overnight service from Ica to Arequipa, could I hop back on PeruHop from Arequipa to Cuzco a few days later.  They were incredibly accommodating and said that would be fine.

Huacachina. An oasis. I prefer Oasis, the band. 

Huacachina > Arequipa 

Thank GOD I went to Arequipa...such a charming colonial city in the Andes!  Plus, it was at altitude, so all the fit folks were huffing and puffing walking up the stairs had me like "This altitude-living fatty got you beat!!" (I was suffering in Lima...waaaaaay too much oxygen at sea level had me choking).  I spent the day exploring the city and trying new foods. 

Plaza de Armas, Arequipa

View of the Andes from a monastery in Arequipa

The next day, I planned a day tour of the Colca Canyon, which was incredible to see how Peruvians live and cultivate.  The Colca Canyon is lined with agricultural terraces in a beautiful valley with our final stop being at the Peruvian Condor overlook, where you can watch these massive condors gliding through the canyon.

On our way to the Colca Canyon, two little girls play while their mom sells her fare

Condor overlook, Colca Canyon

A little boy plays while his mom sells her fare at the Condor overlook

Arequipa > Cuzco

The next day, I hopped back on PeruHop for the 12 hour ride from Arequipa to Cuzco.  We made a few short stops along the way to eat and sight see, which was a nice time to meet some of my fellow nomads along the same journey.  We arrived in Cuzco after dark and were sorted out taxis to take us to our hostels or hotels (the taxi service included with PeruHop).  I booked a hotel via recommendation of a travel tribe I'm a member of.  The hotel was called El Balcon, and probably one of the nicest hotels I've stayed in.  It was charming.  And beautiful.  Delicious food and extraordinary service.  I was like, girl TREAT YO'SELF...especially after staying in grimy hostels and sleeping on buses.

View of Cuzco from El Balcon

Cuzco is magic.  At night, it looks like it's tucked in by a blanket of twinkling stars.  Damn, I fell in love with that city.  El Balcon has a sister hotel in Ollantaytambo, the city most stop at on their way to Machu Picchu.  I ended up booking a night there (and ended up staying 2 nights) after I had a taste of that El Balcon lux.

View of Cuzco from El Balcon

Cuzco > Machu Picchu, via the Sacred Valley

I ended up booking my way to Machu Picchu on my own, not using PeruHop (I'm not even sure if they go there...if they did, it was a part of a 'stop', and travel has taught me to take time at the places I need to see).  I found an English-speaking tour booking company to help me.  They were incredibly kind, and convinced me to tour the Sacred Valley on my way to Ollantaytambo where I was to catch the train to MP.

Chincero in the Sacred Valley, being shown a demonstration of dying and weaving alpaca wool

Ticket in hand (and barely able to control my excitement), I boarded the tour bus the next morning...only to find out I was put on a Spanish speaking tour o_O  I was the ONLY English speaker on the tour.  The guide would explain things in Spanish, then in broken English tell me what was going on.  It was exhausting for both of us.  I felt awful for him, and frustrated for myself.  My 8th grade spanish is quite basic..."Uno mas cervesa, por favor".  I know the important things.

Sacred Valley: Ruins of Pisac

Through miscommunication, I didn't know we were in Ollantaytambo when we were in Ollantaytambo, and came to that realization at our last stop of Pisac - when we were an hour and a half away from Ollantaytambo.  That's when I broke down.  Now, 95% of the time, I'm calm, collected and cool while traveling alone...not this time.  I was on the brink of motion sickness, frustrated about the Spanish speaking tour and anxious to get back to Ollantaytambo to rest up before Machu Picchu the next morning.  My tour guide helped me get a taxi from town that was headed back that way anyways, and stopped to pick up/drop off other riders along the route.  Finally, I made it to my destination: hotel El Albergue...which conviently enough is at the train station, so I didn't have to go far to catch my MP train the next morning.

The staff at El Albergue were lovely and accommodating.  When I decided to book another night, they were all booked up in their regular guest rooms, they let me stay in one they don't advertise.  The food was phenomenal, as well...all in all, I highly recommend a stay there.

Early morning bedroom balcony views from El Albergue and the train to Machu Picchu 

El Albergue was the beginning of Machu Picchu, which will be saved for a later blog (or you can check out the Photo of the Month MP blog).

Lastly, after heading back to Cuzco, I did a tour of Sacsayhuaman (pronounced "Sexy Woman"), which was a nice day trip learning about the Inca.  When I headed back to Lima, I booked a night at this AMAZING bed and breakfast in the Barranco District called Casa Nuestra...I wish I would have know about that place when I first arrived, but now I know for next time ;)

Views from the beautiful Casa Nuestra...don't miss the terrace!

P.S. There will be a next time...that jungle tour I wanted to go on?  In my spontaneity, I didn't realize vaccinations were needed and didn't feel like getting malaria.

Machu Picchu

Links to my Peruvian recommendations:

PeruHop

El Balcon

El Albergue

Casa Nuestra

Happy Trails!

Photo of the Month: Jökulsárlón Glacier Lagoon

I was talking with a friend today...she and I both started dieting about a month ago.  We're both struggling, because, well diets are stupid.  We're also both tired of being fatties, so I suggested that we need to come up with a rewards incentive - after losing specific pre-determined benchmark pounds, we reward ourselves with something that we likely wouldn't get otherwise...like "Treat Yo-self: No More Fatty Edition".  I told my friend that we need to make our rewards list visible, so we see it everyday as a reminder of why we can't eat those pastries that I love sooooooo much.

I'm a visual person and believe that if you see something everyday, you'll get it.  Sometime last year, I decided to cover my work locker with photos the places I've been wanting to visit for years now.  It included Machu Picchu in Peru, the Tiger's Nest temple in Bhutan, the Troll Tongue of Norway, and Uhuru Peak on Kilimanjaro in Tanzania.  With no plans in the near future to visit any of those, I figured they're at least gorgeous photos that help reduce my stress at work, even if it would be years before I visit one, let alone any of those locations. 

Then suddenly, very last mintuely (that's a word in my world), Peru happened.  I got to see Machu Picchu after dreaming of that beautiful citadel for over a decade.  And that's when I became a real believer in the visuals.  I honestly did believe in them before, but nothing ever really amounted from my visual boards (that includes marrying Thor and winning the lotto...apparently you have to play to win.  So inconvenient.).  I had a few magazine cutouts of Machu Picchu dotted here and there around my daily routine, without really believing I'd visit any time soon - I had a lot of other places I wanted to visit, so Peru kept getting shelved.  After a horrible August at work, I decided to book a last minute trip...I wanted somewhere warm, and beachy, but then realized warm and beachy places were full of couples.  Seeing them would be depressing, so I decided somewhere adventurous instead and BOOM!  I found a great deal to Peru and MP happened.  Visual boards work :) 

I was going to make this Photo of the Month a green, lush photo of Machu Picchu because of the vision board conversation today, but since I've skipped a few Photo of the Month's, the last one I posted was literally Machu Picchu.  So instead, since I'm sitting here watching the Secret Life of Walter Mitty, and aching to go back to Iceland...this month's photo is brought to you by way of Iceland.  There's no way that Iceland can disappoint.  That wee country is Ah-maz-ing.

I was tentatively planning to go back to Iceland this year, but since my vacation isn't until November, I'd rather go somewhere warm.  Probably Southeast Asia.  Maybe Bhutan...that little kingdom has been randomly popping up in unexpected places in my life lately, hopefully it's a sign that it's going to happen!

But until then, here's Jökulsárlón, the beautiful glacier lagoon in the south of Iceland.

Jökulsárlón...pretty dope.

To see the world

Things dangerous to come to

To see behind walls

Draw closer

To find each other 

And to feel

That is the purpose of LIFE

Happy Trails!

And because this song always reminds me of Walter Mitty and Iceland...

I'd Go The Whole Wide World

I've been going through a lot, dating wise, the last few months...(prompting my last blog) but also going through nothing at the same time.  Whenever I'm down, which has been often lately, my favorite girls are there to pick me back up.  Recently having this conversation, again, with a friend, I realized all of these conversations are exactly the same.

(Be advised, the majority (aka all) of my friends are married (or divorced) with kids.  They ALL have someone.  I'm literally the last person I know from my friends growing up that is still single and ready to mingle.)

Here's the list of advice I get from every single person:

#1 I THINK YOU'RE AWESOME!

Yeah, I think I'm awesome too.  I would make a fantastic girlfriend!  I love football.  I drink beer.  I think I'm pretty funny, but the jury is still out on that one.  I'm introverted, so I need my alone time, therefore I'm definitely not needy (if anything, I'm quite the opposite of needy).  I have a job!  I love baseball.  I'm educated.  And I'm a traveler.

However, as awesome as my female friends think I am, they're not trying to date me.  And I'm not trying to date them.

From Derbyshire, England to...

#2 YOU NEED TO MOVE TO A BIGGER CITY

That argument is mute and completely invalid.  Yes, I currently live in the most derelict town on the planet, but I have literally traveled the world.  I've lived in the US, Scotland, England, Thailand, and Korea.  When I lived in Asia, I literally lived in the most densely populated area of the world.  I've traveled all over Europe and Southeast Asia.  Dating and men are the same everywhere.

Believe me.

...the twinkling lights of Singapore

#3 IT'LL HAPPEN WHEN YOU LEAST EXPECT IT

That line doesn't work on me anymore, either.  At one point when I lived in England, after being rejected for the umpteenth time, I decided I was done chasing guys and telling them I was interested in them.  I told myself if they liked me, they could chase me for a bit because I was tired of running.  They never chased and I didn't care.  I was busy traveling and discovering who I am as a person.  I learned a lot.  I also was least expecting love, and guess what?!  It didn't happen.  For probably a good five years.

That's a long time to least expect something.  I'm just sayin.

I looked in Kyoto, Japan.

#4 HE'S OUT THERE SOMEWHERE

Honestly, I'm not trying to be a pessimist here, but I don't really believe that anymore.  Like I said, I've been around the world...if in my mid-late 30's, dude still hasn't found me yet, I'm just one of those people that's strong enough (most of the time) to rely on myself.  Like I said in my last blog: There is nothing a man can do for me that I can't do for myself.

And in Iceland, where even stone trolls have someone to kiss.

#5 THEY'RE THE ONES MISSING OUT

Yeah, I know that.  But dudes don't know that.  It sucks that they don't even give me a chance to see what they're missing out on.  The guys that I've been interested in over the last few years, they're genuinely good guys...however, they're just not good to me.  They basically treat me like I'm covered in contagious scales and warts and the only way to keep from getting infected is to either ignore or be a jerk to me.  Or both.  (I'm not covered in scales and warts, by the way).  So yes, un-scaled, un-warted me knows that the dudes who un-reciprocate my feelings are missing out...but that doesn't mean that it still doesn't hurt.

It hurts a lot.  Sometimes that hurt will last a few days, others last months.  And that's when I need my friends...so I text them instead of texting Dude, who inevitably won't text me back making me feel even worse.  Because that's how every guy I've ever met acts.

I mean, who wouldn't want to date this?  A thousand times better than Lara Croft.

To my friends who have these conversations with me, please don't take offense (it's actually funny how similar every conversation is).  I appreciate each and every one of you...you are the ones keeping me afloat.  I'm also not giving up.  I'm still on the hunt for Mr. Darcy...he's just annoyingly elusive.

Happy Trails!

And for good measure, I'd still go the Whole Wide World just to find him...

Repatriation Part 2: Undateable Me

In my last blog, I mentioned three things I wanted to focus on after Repatriating back to the States.  The first was rehabilitating my leg.  The second, which that blog focused on, was my career.  And the third was finally feeling ready to give my heart to someone, which is waaaaaaaay easier said than done.

Since moving home, I've realized how travel has made me completely undateable.  Here's why:

#1 I AM FIERCELY INDEPENDENT

Growing up, I've always been what I call, a floater.  I have many friends of different backgrounds, with different interests, in different social circles.  I only have a few very close friends that know me inside and out.  Because of that, I've always done things pretty much on my own.  The older I got, the more independent I became.  I started going out to eat on my own, going to the cinema on my own, and visiting countries solo.

I'm pretty sure guys don't know how to deal with an independent chick.  I genuinely believe there is nothing a man could do for me that I can't do for myself.

Takin' in that view: Cliffs of Moher

#2 I AM A SOCIAL RECLUSE

Because of that independence, I've become too comfortable with my own company.  Not to mention, I'm incredibly introverted.  If I spend a day with someone, I need two or three secluded days to recover.  The amount of energy it takes for me to go out and meet people now is exhausting.  And honestly, I've been alone for so long that I really would have no idea how to be someones second half.

Dudes, correct me if I'm wrong, but y'all seem to like those -needy- girls.

Upside of a recluse: Kilroy selfies

#3 I AM A SEASONED SOLO-ER

I started traveling alone out of necessity...the majority of my friends (aka, -all- of them) had their own lives.  They either already were in relationships, or they at least had the best friends that I never really had, so why would they want to come with me?  I've become seasoned at goin' alone.  And I'm pretty sure because of that, I make a horrible travel partner.  For example, a friend had come to visit me when I lived in Thailand.  Early one morning, she was really sick and needed to go to the hospital.  I told her to get a tuk tuk, then I went back to bed.  When I woke up, I felt horrible (and still do).  I didn't think to go with her because I'm used to figuring things out and doing them alone.  I just don't think about others...not because I'm a horrible person, but because I've never had to.

Also, I'm used to doing things on my own terms.  I literally have no one to answer to but myself when I'm on the road.

Making furry friends!

#4 I HAVE ZERO FASHION SENSE 

Most females I know enjoy dressing up.  Dresses, heals, bling.  Me?  Nope.  Travel requires comfort.  Sitting on an overnight bus for 12 hours to get to a hostel and immediately start exploring your new city takes jeans or leggings, t-shirts, and hiking shoes.  That sense of fashion has definitely followed me home.  I am not a girly girl, and as much as I try to dress up, I'm uncomfortable and fail miserably at it.  I'm not one of those flirty girls that dudes seem to flock to, I'm more like "just one of the guys".

I don't care what I look like...because I'm fabulous regardless 

#5 TRAVEL HAS MADE ME SELFISH 

I'm selfish and I fully admit that.  I've been too busy discovering myself to invest in anyone else.  When I lived overseas, I built walls around my heart because I get attached easily and put my heart into things far more often than I should.  And it backfires every single time.  When I moved back to the States, I decided to drop those walls and all it's caused me since is pain and misery.

The ideal dude: Mr. Darcy, who, I'm sure, real dudes have no idea who he is

#6 IT'S HARD TO RELATE TO WESTERNERS

There are very few Americans that have passports, and even fewer still that venture beyond cruise ships or Mexican beach resorts.  I was genuinely surprised that I didn't meet many Americans in Peru.  In Europe?  Yes, there are more around, but not nearly as many as other nationalities who wanderlust with the best of them.  Because I travel, I'm incredibly open-minded and see things from a million different views.  I also have a lot of stories, and traveling stories are pretty much all that I know or have to talk about.  I feel like people think I'm pretentious or think I'm trying to make them jealous by talking about my experiences.  I'm 100% not.  It's just what I know.  Therefore, I don't say much around people anymore, because I don't want to push them away.

Guys don't seem to care about my stories or ask questions to keep the conversation going.  If you're not interested in my life experiences, I'm not interested in you. #SorryNotSorry

Conquering Inca ruins in Ollantaytambo

#7 I DON'T KNOW HOW TO FLIRT

Admittedly, I've never been in a relationship.  I've been on a few dates, but nothing that ever amassed into anything worth talking about.  I don't know how to be a flirty girly girl.  I'm honest and forthright, and I don't play stupid games.  Ain't nobody got time for that.

If I like a guy, I tell them.  And I'm definitely discovering that guys can't handle a girl that knows what she wants.  I've been rejected more times than I can count...but at least I'm not wasting time pretending to be someone I'm not.

Heeeeey...goin' my way? Jokusarlon, Iceland

#8 I'LL NEVER STOP TRAVELING

This is non-negotiable.  Travel is vital to my system.  It's therapy.  It brings me balance.  If I meet a dude that wants to travel with me, great.  If not, he better be fine with me being gone for weeks at a time because that's who I am and I'll never stop exploring this world.  The moment I'm back from one trip, I'm already dreaming and planning the next five trips.  That's what comes from meeting people abroad and hearing about what they've done and where they've been...It opens the door to so many more places to see!

Machu Picchu opened the door for six more World Wonders I HAVE to conquer!

So...if you're a travelin' dude that likes travelin', independent chicks, give ya girl a shout!  I'm not the one missing out.  You are.

Happy Trails!

And because I Go It Alone...

Repatriating Part 1: Starting a Career

I've been back in the States for three years now, which is incredibly hard to believe.  It really doesn't seem like I've been home for that long.  It's easy to say that for the last two years, I have been suffering with depression.  It's caused by a culmination of many things, but for the most part, it's from the complete loneliness of moving home and being completely un-relateable to the majority of the people I'm surrounded by.

When you spend years living abroad, it changes something within you.  I came back and everything was the same.  But I was different.  It happened every time, which is why I kept leaving and finding somewhere else to go.

My first move overseas was to Scotland the year I graduated college.  I had a six-month visa to live and work in the UK.  I was working at a hotel in the Highlands, pretty secluded, and my boss was an absolute nutter.  Combine that with your best friends saying how much they missed you and wanted you to come home, I quit my visa after four and a half months and went home.  I was expecting this grand welcoming with my friends inquiring about my trip and what it was like in Scotland.  I was expecting to couple-up with this guy I had been in love with.  I was expecting a lot more than, "hey, you're home, that's cool...".  It was in that moment that I realized what I'd lost: An opportunity to do something that no one I knew (or still know from home) will ever have...an opportunity to explore the world and myself and fill a void that most of my girlfriends fill with marriage and babies.  (not meaning any offense by that...most girls love babies, some prefer plane tickets).  It was in that moment that I decided that was the last time I'd do anything because of someone else.  It was in that moment that I became selfish.

The first time I moved abroad and my family came to visit.  They don't visit me anymore.

It's a funny thing, coming home.  Nothing changes.  Everything looks the same, feels the same, even smells the same.  You realize what's changed is you.
- F. Scott Fitzgerald

Fast forward 13 years and 25 countries later.  I moved back for many reasons.  First and foremost, I needed to let my leg fully heal...I just needed to rest.  Second, there was 100% no fulfillment in my career as a teacher working in a system that doesn't value you, but know's you're more than replaceable if you don't agree with how things work.  Third, I was (am) finally ready to give my heart to someone, something that apparently is less than likely to occur - wait, scratch that - I have given out my heart, I just haven't received one back...I am an expert at unrequited love.

For length's sake, I'll just focus on one of those reasons for moving back in this blog: My career.

I now have a job that I love.  I love it.  I feel like I finally have a purpose and I'm doing something that makes a difference, all while challenging me and expanding my knowledge daily.  And because of that, I have no plans to leave.  However, while my career has settled, my social life has become non-existent, which I'm blaming more and more on my previous life as an Expat.

You see, I can talk Travel all day long.  Where I've been, where I plan to go, where you've been and are planning to go...what it's like to enjoy a bowl of noodles in a hawker in Singapore, or what the ancient stones that make up Angkor Wat feel like under your fingers.  Traveling is my passion, it awakens my soul.  But I can't talk about it anymore.  Because where I live, the people don't understand it, and I almost get the sense that they feel like I'm pretentious and trying to make them jealous.  I'm not.  Traveling is just...me.  It's who I am and what I know and I love to encourage others to get out there.

Where I am now, I just can't talk about the places and feelings I've experienced, because I've learned that most people I know respond negatively to that, and I've isolated myself, becoming a mere shell of the person I am.  Detached and surviving.

Travel, when undertaken habitually, becomes a potent intoxicant...The more you do it, the more you find a way to keep doing it.  It becomes vital to the system.
- Josh Gates, Memoirs of a Monster Hunter

That quote, as I'm sure anyone who travels will tell you, is spot on.  Travel is vital to my system.  I booked an impromptu trip last month to Peru, after a rough month at work and my depression deepening to the point of insanity and mental breakdowns.  I had a great time and felt happy again.  But when I got back, I realized that trips now just act like Band Aids, covering a deep crevasse of a wound that feels like it's never going to heal.  The Peru Band Aid lasted only a few days, before it fell off leaving the wound festering and bleeding for everyone to see.

I yearn for views like this. 
Cusco, Peru

I came home from Peru with the newest edition of National Geographic Traveler in my mailbox and immediately started "Oooh-ing" and "Awweee-ing" while thumbing through the pages.  There's an article on Scandinavia, which I immediately squealed that I need to go back, to Norway this time.  Norway will have to wait, though, purely because it's one of the most expensive countries in the world and I should probably get the cheap ones out of the way first.

So, to my friends here, I honestly try not to bother you about my adventures unless you ask...but it's definitely a struggle not to bring up my preference for papaya salad when you say you want Pad Thai for lunch.  To my international friends, the connections I've made: Let's meet up!  In a coffee shop in Bavaria, or at Petra, the Taj Mahal, or Chichen Itza.  I'm down for whatever, just tell me if I need a jacket :)

Happy Trails!

Photo of the Month: Machu Picchu

I wasn't going to take a vacation this year.  Even considering the itchy feet I have been feeling since the spring, I was still going to focus on the trip I'm planning for next year.  I was going to spend my vacation traveling around Colorado and visiting the places I haven't seen since I was a child.  But then August happened.  And August was shit.  I worked several calls that reinforced my belief that when your time is up, it's definitely up.  Then I covered the worst call of my career, and decided I needed to get the hell out of dodge, purely for my mental stability.

Peru has been on my list for over a decade and I kept putting it on the back burner.  Mainly because I was living in England, so exploring Europe.  Then I was living in Southeast Asia, so exploring Asia.  And with plans to go back to Asia next year, I decided Peru...if not now, then when?  I found an amazing deal on flights (yo, you gotta be flexible and patient when looking for flights, and look at many different sites to find something that will work for you), and I booked it.

This was the most impromptu trip I've booked.  And also a rare one where I was traveling all on my own, not meeting at least one person I know somewhere along my route.  This was all me.  And all I knew I wanted to do was to make it to MachuPicchu.  So with literally no plans, no destinations (besides Cusco and MachuPicchu) in mind, I set off.  I could go on and on about Peru, but for this Photo of the Month, I'll focus on the reason why Peru happened: MP.

When I had decided over a decade ago to visit MP, I wanted to do it proper: trek the Inca Trail.  However, due to unforeseen circumstances during my stint in Asia, trekking up mountains is pretty much impossible for me now...especially on an impromptu trip booking.  So I did it the tourist way (not that trekking isn't touristy, it definitely is, especially in Peru).  Bus from Cusco to Ollantaytambo.  Early morning train from Ollantaytambo to Aguas Calientes.  Then bus up the side of the mountain to MP.  There's a good, probably 1/4 mile of stairs you still have to climb to get to MP...which was definitely trek-enough for me :) 

Going to MP, I knew that you are supposed to enter with a tour guide.  So at the gate, there was a guide and a group of people, which I asked if I needed to wait.  He said yes, so I waited.  We all went in together where he began explaining who-knows-what because it was all in Spanish.  My 8th grade Spanish was good enough to get me by in the cities, but to go on a full tour in Spanish?  Nope.  The day before, I was stuck on a full-day tour of the Sacred Valley in Spanish, and I wasn't about to go through that again.  When the guide was finished saying whatever he was saying, I asked him if there was an English tour.  He said no.  I didn't believe him, but I also didn't want to walk back down to find an English tour guide...so I got lost in the crowd and went off by myself.  I'm pretty good doing shit on my own.

Taking the bus from Aguas Calientes, the further up we drove, the heavier the clouds and fog became.  I was worried we wouldn't be able to see anything when we got to the citadel...and I was right.  Once I got to the top, after climbing all those stairs and the ruins appeared, everything was covered in clouds and fog.  I became incredibly emotional, as I have a tendency to do, and started crying -- not because of the fog, but because it had taken me SO long to get there, and considering my physical state, I fucking made it.  I knew, through patience, the clouds would break sooner or later, so I found a spot to sit and reflect on my life and what brought me here, and I waited...after about a half hour, the clouds parted and MachuPicchu was more than I ever could imagine.

MP - after the clouds and fog broke...a sight I will never forget

MP is enormous...far bigger than it is in the countless photos I've seen of it.  I spent my time exploring the ruins, feeling the majesty of the Inca and what they accomplished.  I also couldn't get over the fact that I was incredibly dehydrated, because common sense left me in my excitement, I forgot my water, and for some strange reason, thought there would be water vendors amidst ancient ruins.  There's not, if you're wondering ;)  Luckily, wearing my Colorado t-shirt, some fellow Coloradans started chatting with me and offered me a bottle of water they had...they brought extra because they're smart.  I'm sure they had a premonition that they would meet an idiot along their route that they could help out.

MachuPicchu is a place you need to experience.  You can't just see a photo of it and be satisfied.  And it now has me on a quest to conquer each wonder of the Seven Wonders of the World.  MachuPicchu is a pretty good first one, if you ask me.  Never give up on your dreams...no matter how long it takes you to achieve them or what obstacles you have to overcome.  They're worth it.  Every damn one.

Happy Trails!