Lookin' For Love (In All The Wrong Places)

It's been a while since my last blog, mainly because I'm on Expat sabbatical leave.  But last month, I got back from my first trip abroad since moving home from Korea two years ago and realized how much a trip can completely rejuvenate my ramblin' soul.  I came back with a new gusto for life, with new clarity and focus in my work.  I came to a realization that the petty bullshit drama I was forcefully dragged into (fuck drama, I hate that shit...leave me out of it) was just the foolishness of miserable people trying desperately to make me miserable as well...because a miserable world is a lonely world, and who wants to be lonely, really?  Being away, I realized once again that the world is far too big and beautiful for foolishness.

Being away also helped me finally move on from someone that I knew I spent far too long being stuck on.  Someone who, in all honesty, is a nice guy - he's just not nice to me.  I don't know what it was in particular about this dude that I was so hung up on, it literally felt like he had octopus tentacles wrapped around my brain and every time I tried to pull them off, they sucked their way back onto my head.  I had never asked for anything more from this guy than friendship, and in return he was a complete ass to me, and said some of the worst things a person has ever said to me, damaging my already low confidence.  I'm not like most females...I mean what I say, I don't play games, and I'm the most chilled out chick that I know.  Dude let his ego get in his way and it's his loss, not mine, but that doesn't mean it still doesn't hurt.

Went to Iceland to find a Viking and only found a Troll.  Story. Of. My life.

 Although I have well and truly moved on from this dude, every so often I think of those words he said to me, how they made me feel.  And I cry.  Then I get SO angry at myself, because this last trip made me realize that I've wasted too many tears on this guy...Tears that should have been saved for that sunset in Reykjavik that I will never forget.  Or that moment in Iceland when Mother Nature cooperated and blessed me with the most beautiful Northern Lights show I could have ever possibly imagined - that moment that I had waited years to experience.  Too many tears have I spent on negative experiences in my life caused by others, when they should be tears of joy from my life spent abroad.

So much beauty in a simple sunset! Heading back to Reykjavik from the Snaefellsness Peninsula

I started this blog as a homage to those single solo travelin' gals in the world.  I can't even begin to describe how solo travel has changed my life.  If you have never traveled anywhere on your own, I implore you to do so.  You're not really alone.  The list of people and friends I have met because I'm a solo traveler is endless - and those are folks I never would've met had I been with someone else.  And the feeling that overcomes you, when you stand at the base of a beautiful mountain, or an ancient structure, and it's only you...it's priceless.  You don't have to talk to anyone, you can just look and feel and experience it, all on your own without worrying about the person next to you.

This is what those tears are made for!

Yes, I have decided the tears I want to cry are tears of joy and happiness that come from conquering the world on my own.  I don't want to waste anymore on someone who is undeserving of them...that's a waste of a good tear.  Of course, I'll keep on looking for that Ramblin' Man to bring into my little world, but until then, I'll put my tears to good use on my solo ramblin' adventures!

There he is!  The ever so elusive Mr Darcy.  I WILL find you, one of these days.

Happy Trails, solo ladies!

And for good measure!